Mar 16 - 22

Ok, I am 72 years old, and I suddenly realize I can’t tell the difference between a cricket and a frog croak.

Is this the first (or last) sign of dementia? I just think it’s weird that when all the frogs stop croaking, I don’t hear a single cricket. Maybe they’re in cahoots with each other. It just seems odd that I wouldn’t hear anything.

Oh, and if you think this is a sign of dementia, you don’t have to tell me—I’m sure my wife will.

Oh, and I see now why the geese decided not to build their nest on top of my woodpile. Directly above them is a hawk’s nest. Smart geese.

Here are a couple of photos.

Mar 9 - 15

Ok, so I am disappointed because I lost a tenant. Mind you they never paid rent, but I am still disappointed. 

The geese family have come several times to look over their past rental property, but apparently have moved on. I have tried to entice them by cleaning up the area around it, because I was afraid that they thought it was a low income area, so I was trying to make it look more upscale. I was going to add some natural calling sounds like a water fall, and some attractive decoys.

Obviously, the neighbors pond is much nicer, but, what are you going to do.

I know, I will play some goose lounging music. 

I will keep you abreast of this.

Mar 2 - 8

Okay, I have told my wife that I thought Phoebe, our 18-month-old puppy, was not very smart. She says, “Noooo, Phoebe is very smart, and don’t ever say that again.”

Well, she is right, because I have been outsmarted again. Nothing new.

Phoebe likes to grab things, even right out of my hands. She will then run off with them, and I have to chase her. She watches me put on my socks and waits until I’m not paying attention, then grabs a sock out of my hand and takes off.

Okay, I can live with unmatched socks, but when she steals something important, the only way to get it back is to give her a treat. Well, now she has learned what’s important… and so now she gets lots of treats.

Now, please don’t tell my wife. She already knows that Phoebe is smarter than me. Duhhh. I just don’t want her to know how many treats Phoebe is getting.

Feb 23 - Mar 1

I have been in the coffee shop business for 49 years. In 1977, I went to work for Perko’s as a manager trainee. One of the first things the head waitress (that’s what we called them back then) said was that you always have to wash the honey packets before you give them out because they are always sticky. It seems there is always one packet per case that leaks and then gets the whole case covered with honey.

Present day, they still leak, and the honey packets are all sticky. Now, when you get a ketchup packet, you never see a leaky one. The same goes for mustard packets. So why, after all these years, do honey packets still leak?

I think the government is getting involved. I believe honey users are sweeter than non-honey users and therefore fit into a certain political party. I have no proof of this yet, but I suspect the honey attaches to our DNA and then transmits this information to a certain government branch. I have always noticed an extra router on our front wall, so this must be how they transmit it. What they do with this information—and why—might be related to the new reports about possible aliens among us. Then again, with aliens involved, maybe it’s not political at all, but about the overall sweetness of our population.

Okay, that makes me nervous.