Ok, I am getting tired of Christmas songs already. They play on every station including Amazon the same 40 songs. Songs by Perry Como, Frank Sinatra, Bing Crosby, Paul McCartney, Mariah Carey and so on and so on. I think they are wonderful, but after 60 some odd years I m tired of them all. Do they ever play my favorite, and no it is not “ Dominick the Italian Donkey”. It is “ I want a Hippopotamus for Christmas.” This is a true legend. It has rhyme, it has a reason, and it as a melody. I think it has it all, and after all, who wouldn’t want a hippo for Christmas. Sing it to your server and get an extra 15% off, but you better do it service, or I may visit your table.
Ok, picture this. It is 2600 BC and you are the GC (I hope by now I don’t have to explain this to you) of the Egyptian Pyramids. You have your ADA (American Disabilities Act) inspection. Your parking space has to have a grade of 2% or less. Out of a 200 sq ft parking space, you have a 9 sq ft section with 2.6% and even though the rest is well below 2% you now have to re-grade the entire parking space and of course repaint it as well.
You know, if I would have had a hippo standing there I bet he never would have noticed that small discrepancy.
Dec 10 - 16
Apparently, I was the kid’s stage manager tonight for their talent show, and like most stage managers, nobody listens to us. Rock stars obviously think they are Gods, and so why would they listen to someone old, who thinks he is wise. They chose Bon Jovi to my disappointment, but I did manage to get the amplifiers plugged into the guitars without much mishap. I think I will stick to the restaurant business, however, I was thinking of just getting a hot dog cart in case Flapjacks never opens. I would pull no permits or licenses and if I saw someone suspicious I would just push my cart to the next corner. I would have an app for your phone of course and then I would just run right to you. Maybe I could have my son follow me around and he could play the guitar. I will have to come up with a catchy name to make it work.
OK, we finally got our plumbing final so now we have to get PG&E to install our meter and get us gas. Then we have 5 inspections, electrical, mechanical, fire, health and the Final. This could all be done in a week or just to be safe maybe you could come up with that catchy name for my son and I.
Dec 3 - 9
My family never listens to me, why I do not know. My two extremely talented kids have decided to enter a talent contest. They wanted to do a song by Kiss. I suggested to them that they dress up like monkeys and they sing (And please use your imagination)
“Hey, hey we’re the Monkeys Eee Eee
And people say we monkey around Uhoo Uhoo
But we’re too busy singing to put anybody down Eee Eee.”
They decided to do Kiss. Oh and the song last week was Dominick the Italian Donkey.
On to the building. What do you say when an inspector always asks the impossible. The same darling inspector that would not do our gas pressure test because the ceiling panels were not in, would not do our plumbing final because our Air Balance test hadn’t been done yet. When we asked him, to at least look at the plumbing, so we would know if everything was ok. He said “NO”. Bottom line is, everything is done. We have the floor retiled and we have a few things we need to do but we need gas and hot water to do them. So if inspections went well, we could go through the sequence in as little as 10 days. With my luck, I am thinking October 2020.
Nov 26 - Dec 2
Ok, I got nothing this week so here is all I have got. I ate way too much turkey, stuffing, gravy and pie the last few days and I have gained at least 2 pants sizes. So if you see me please let me know what a fatty I am. Also, this week I heard a Christmas song I have never heard before. Guess this song and put in on a piece of paper and bring it in and you could win a breakfast for 2. I was going to throw in my kids pet lizards, but I know they would not believe my story that someone broke in to the house just to steal them. Hope everyone had a nice Thanksgiving.