Twas the night before Christmas, when all through the house,
not a creature was stirring, not even a mouse.
Everyone was waiting to see if the smart oven would come on,
and people were hungry and anxious, hoping the turkey would be done.
However, the look on the face of the master cook was gloom,
so the hunger and anxiety continued to be true.
When out on the lawn there arose such a clatter,
I sprang from my chair to see what was the matter.
A red and white car had pulled up in the driveway.
The Domino's Pizza man threw open his door,
much to the surprise of everyone standing on the floor.
He ran to the door with three pizzas in hand
and rang the doorbell with a sound like a school band.
His eyes—how they twinkled, his dimples how merry.
His cheeks were like roses, his nose like a cherry.
Away to the door I flew like a flash,
tore it open and smiled like I was on hash.
Only to find he had the wrong address.
I offered him a $100 tip if he pretended he was lost.
And the night was saved, however at a high cost.
At least they got to eat something.
Dec 22 - 28
So, I talked about my new smart oven last week. I have tried in vain to reconnect it.
Well, I have a smart pilot buddy customer, and he took on the process of reconnecting my phone to the GE oven. We came up with a password, took screenshots so we wouldn't forget it, and after about 30 minutes, we thought we got it.
I go home, and of course, it doesn't work, but then the next morning it does. That evening, I made 3 dozen chocolate cookies. When they were done, I let the oven cool and placed them back in to stay warm. Then, I start working on dinner. I start to notice my glasses have gotten dirty because I can't see very well. Then my wife comes in and starts screaming because a tremendous amount of smoke is coming from the oven. I look over, and the oven has turned itself back on high, and I have 3 dozen black objects smoking like crazy.
I suddenly wonder how the oven came back on. Ah ha! I shared my password.
I can't wait to fix my buddy's breakfast next time he comes in.
Dec 15 - 21
I miss the old days.
Remember when life was so easy with only 3 TV channels and no internet?
My oven went out before Thanksgiving, so I had to buy a new one. It's a new world, folks. This dual oven has a tiny screen to control everything, and it is hard to manage. I realized after Thanksgiving that it is meant to be connected to your phone and operated that way. I did it, and it's much easier to operate and pretty cool.
Everything was fine until my phone did an update and kicked my oven off. Now I am trying to reconnect. I had to set up a password for my oven, and for the first month, I had it stuck to the outside. The password had to be very difficult with special characters. When I realized I didn't need it, I tossed it. Now I cannot reconnect. It doesn't give you the option of a new password. It's an oven, not a bank safe with lots of money.
Do they think someone will take over my oven to cook their turkey? In any case, I am back to using this small screen.
I miss the old days, with knobs.
Dec 8 - 14
Tell me, when you walk your dogs, do you have conversations with them? At first, we would have lengthy discussions about them doing their business, but as time moved on, our conversations have become much more in-depth. Lately, we have been having conversations about which animal shelter we should contribute to. Surprisingly, the dogs are on different sides of the aisle. Cooper would donate all his food to help other dogs, whereas Phoebe wants all the food for herself. Cooper is worried about the economy and feels we need to help our fellow pooches out. Phoebe, on the other hand, wants us to build a large ballroom so she can associate with more elite dogs. I guess she saw a neighbor's dog's estate and got jealous. I now will have to sit down with the two of them and explain how we first help our fellow companions before we try to impress the very few. And I think from now on I will just start wearing earbuds and listen to music on our future walks.