The conspiracy theory about fire hydrants.
What is a fire hydrant's primary purpose? You would think it was to put out fires, when in fact it is very rare that a fire hydrant is ever used for water. So, what are they most used for? Yes, a place for our dogs to relieve themselves.
When fire hydrants were first installed they had a sweet smell to them (probably from the paint), which attracted dogs, and therefore they would want to mark their spot there. However, there is a group of us that believe that the firemen didn't appreciate the hydrants' notoriety, and so, they repainted all the fire hydrants (obviously at night), to distract all dogs from living their dream. I think this is very sad. Unless we do something, this is a tradition that will soon be forgotten.
So I am trying to recruit a force to go out and repaint all the hydrants in their original sweet-smelling red paint (obviously at night). What do you say? Are you in?
I will leave signup sheets by the register.
Dec 9 - 15
In the Winter, there is nothing more wonderful then getting in your cozy warm bed.
About 5:30 most mornings I feed the dogs and then take them out for a walk to do their business. On Saturdays, I get to get back in bed after I walk them.
So I get all snuggled in bed when Phoebe jumps on the bed and immediately goes under the blankets. I don’t think much of it until the COLD WET NOSE rubs up against my leg.
In my lifetime I have been in a motorcycle accident and once had an emergency appendectomy. In neither case did I scream as loud as I did Saturday morning..
Dec 2 - 8
A tootsie roll story. I did not make this up.
So, a few days before Thanksgiving I was walking the dogs when one of them of course had to do their business. Fortunately, I had a paper towel in my pocket, so I picked up what looked like a tootsie roll and wrapped it in the paper towel. I didn’t want to walk a long way with my new treasure so I hid deep in a large bush in my front yard, where no one could ever see it.
Ok, so on Thanksgiving I am walking the dogs when I come to the end of my driveway and there it is. The paper towel is rolled out flat on the driveway with the tootsie roll like object placed right on the middle of towel. I wondered if I woke a raccoon and this was his way at getting back at me, but then it came to me. It was probably the hamster.
Nov 25 - Dec 1
3 different stories - You don't need to read all of them.
1. We have a mysterious problem at our house. Two months ago my son's hamster suddenly died. My son said it just jumped out of his hands and died when it hit the floor. Me being a stupid parent allow him to get another one.This cute little hamster named Cupcake is just a joy to watch. Suddenly Cupcake disappears, with no trace. Coincidentally, my daughter's cat got very sick, at this same time, but you would see some trace of fur or something. Cooper, has been sniffing around, but again no trace. We thought by now we would have that wonderful smell, that accompanies dead vermin, but not yet.
2. A few months ago I filled out a survey online about air quality. Then last week I get a call from the air resources board. They would like to install an air sensor at my home. Since we are out in the country we have tons of fire wood and burn a lot to heat the house. So these 2 engineers come all the way up from the bay area to install these sensors. At first, I thought this was a prank, until I saw the equipment and computers they brought into the house. They installed one inside and one outside and they showed me how I can go on my phone and see the air quality. Ok, so the readings are in parts per million and it starts at the number 8. Ok, so I start a fire in the fire place and it immediately shoots up to 298. I haven't burned since.
3. Sorry, I forgot the 3rd story already.