Nov 18 - 24

Socks are the most wonderful thing. They keep you warm and snuggly in the Winter when your toes get ice cold. They come in all kinds of colors (which I think odd, since nobody sees them) and fabrics, and are just so comfortable. Too bad, I don’t have any, at least that match any way. It seems that Phobe, the new puppy loves socks. She especially likes the smelly, pre-wornsocks, but she has worked her way up to all socks. If I go to the sock drawer, she cannot be around, because she will snatch them right out of my hands, and run off, with the socks never to be seen again. I use to pride myself in being a master sock matcher. I once matched 90 pairs of socks. Now, that is no longer possible, because pieces of thread do not count as socks. Hopefully, one day, she will get over this sock fetish and I will be able to come to work and not panic  when you look down.

Ok so my wife and I were out walking the dogs when one of the dogs had to go and we both forgot our bags. Fortunately there was a gopher hole close by. Poor gopher.

Nov 11 - 17

OK, I am walking the two dogs down the street, when suddenly one of the dogs decides to go. Then of course the other dog decides to go. I now have 2 dogs pooping on someone’s front yard, when the woman walks out her front door. I suddenly realize I have forgotten to bring a pick-up bag. What do you do?

1. You start crying and beg forgiveness.
2. You start speaking in a different language trying to explain the situation, hoping she will get bored with you.
3. You explain how you will return right away to pick it up.
4. You just reach down and pick them both up with your bare hands.
5. You just run away.

I think you know that 5 is the most logical conclusion.

Nov 4 - 10

Definition of a lake: a large body of water surrounded by land.

Definition of a pond: a small body of water formed naturally or by hollowing or embanking.

Definition of a puddle: a small pool of liquid.

I looked up these definitions to determine if Phoebe was leaving a puddle or a pond behind when she was doing her business inside the house. When she goes outside it is tiny, but inside it is beyond a puddle, and I think it is fair to say it is a pond. Of course, Cooper now thinks it is fair game again to do his business inside too, so our house is really just so wonderful. I am afraid they will get into a competition as to who gets to form the first lake.

Oct 28 - Nov 3

You may not want to dine following this story
 
Have you ever had someone you trust turn on you. I once had a manager, that robbed me blind, but before I found out I thought she was someone I could trust. It was heartbreaking to find out the truth. Well, unfortunately, It has happened again.

Someone close, who I dearly love, has hid his deviousness all along. Cooper, who we thought was potty trained, has been pooping in all the back bedrooms and hallways. At first we thought it was Pheobe the new puppy, but after doing a DNA test, it is apparent it has been Cooper. Unfortunately, during this time we were feeding him very fatty foods, so the excrement was not very appealing. I am not sure if we have to send him away to reform school, or some other place, but even though this boy has been acting sweet and nice, it turns out he has been conning us like this old employee of mine. I don’t know, but hopefully one day we can recover from this and move on, meanwhile we will leave all the back bedroom windows open.