Jul 26 - Aug 1

Ok, so with all new pets there are always complications. Where they poop, is usually the biggest concern. This one likes to do it on the washer, which of course, makes my life with my wife very uneasy. The other problem with our new pet (I should come up with a name, but I just can’t think of what you call a rat), is he or she does not like the Disney channel and makes a lot of noise under the sofa while I am sitting on it. Of course, I was watching Ratatouille, I think he or she got jealous that that rat was being treated special. 

Now, for the saga of the lost pineapple cans, I think my scientific background has been as useful to me as it was to get me into the restaurant business. I think now I will start binge-watching every episode of NCIS. Today I found 2 empty cans and 3 lids in the backyard. Well, at least he is getting outside.

Jul 19 - 25

It seems we have a new pet. We have had all kinds of wild pets. I mean when a bobcat eats your pet he becomes a pet. When an owl eats a pet he or she becomes a pet. Well, now we seem to have a pet rat. This rat does not like the new paint color in the new laundry area. So he or she appears to be eating all the paint near the floor. I always wish my pets were dumb pets, but alas, I only seem to acquire extremely intelligent pets. So when the exterminator comes out and says no problem catching your new pet, he was so wrong. The new pet knows about mouse traps and glue boards and poison, and he or she laughs at me when I peer into one of his new holes.

I know how to get rid of him, I will tell my son that the rat is stealing our pineapple cans, and he should put his amplifier by all the new holes when he plays his rock music. I mean it would get rid of me.

Jul 5 - 11

Having a science degree from UC Davis I thought it might be useful to do a scientific experiment to try to determine when and where the pineapple cans disappear. So, I bought several cans and placed them in different spots. Some in obvious locations, others in deceptive locations, and then some with the
cleaning supplies. So far it is too soon to determine the extent of the process. All information will have to be input into a database which will come up with the scientific determination and hopefully place the blame on my son. At this time I do not plan to use the pineapple stains on his white tee-shirt, because I believe that info is not sustaining.

Next week I hope to have a finalized report.

Jun 28 - Jul 4

To get away from the home where the kitchen remodel is occurring, we decided to get far away and go to Santa Cruz. And of course, if you go to Santa Cruz you have to go to the Boardwalk. It is our routine to take the kids but we know that they won’t go on scary rides like the big roller coaster because they are terrified of them. As such our routine is very organized and efficient. Here is where things go bad. The kids invite a friend. The new kid wants to go on ALL the rides. The new kid talks the kids into going on all the rides. Now I have to go on all the rides. I am old and feeble and more terrified than they are. In the past, the kids would stand in line, and when they finally get to the ride and see what it is they take off and run, but now they have promised their friend they would go. So we get on the Giant Dipper and I realize that their screams are out screamed by my screams.