I didn’t know that birds had the brain capacity to taunt another animal, but my dogs nemeses, the crane next door apparently does. I am out back and the crane is on the other side of the fence just sitting there while my dogs are barking up a storm. The crane decides to take flight and go up the hill. The dogs go up our yard in hopes of staying up with their enemy, however as soon as the dogs commit to one direction the crane make a 180 degree turn and comes and lands on our side of the fence right where the dogs were right in front of me. The dogs don’t see this because they ran up the hill, when they come back here is the crane standing right there. They go berserk and go after it, and it casually flies over to the other side of our pond. The dogs go nuts and go after it again. Now the crane flies right back to this side of the pond, right in front of me again. The dogs are besides themselves now and come running back again. The crane plays the ultimate game of chicken and just stands there very calm until the dogs are right on it and just in the nick of time it takes off and goes back on the other side of the fence where this all started. The crane just stood there and I swear he held up his middle feather again.
Hope everyone had a nice Thanksgiving.
Nov 25 - Dec 1
Politics is something that should never come up at the Thanksgiving Day dinner, however, in our polarized world, it may be inevitable. Here are some subjects that drive family members apart. With my input.
Do you stuff the turkey with stuffing or do you cook the stuffing separately?
My response, it is called stuffing for a reason.
Do you bake, fry, bag or use natural sunlight to cook your turkey.
My response, just buy a pre-cooked ham or turkey and tell everyone you slaved over the oven.
White or red wine with turkey or ham?
My response, whichever contains the most alcohol, so you can enjoy the company of your children.
I hope this helps you to have a nice Thanksgiving.
Nov 17 - 24
Ok, so I think I got things wrong last week when I thought I might end up in Heaven eating cookies. I forgot that my third grade teacher who was a nun told me I was going straight to Hell. I was such a darling child I couldn’t ever imagine why? Do they serve really bad cookies in hell or do they just taunt you with real good cookies just out of arms reach? You always hear about people who die and come back from Heaven and say how wonderful it was, but you never hear any bad stories of people coming back from hell. I think they (I am assuming they are disgruntled departed DMV employees), probably burn the cookies. On top of that, they probably give you a driving test over and over and over again.
Nov 11 - 17
Cookies. I appear to have made another batch that was not good enough to sell. So I am in the middle of eating 4 dozen chocolate chip cookies. I know I have a problem. I used to criticize people who were addicted to different things, but I guess now I will be more compassionate. Do you think when you get to heaven you can eat all the cookies you want? I mean, can you get fat in heaven? I have been told that God doesn’t like to be the disciplinarian and that is why most of heaven is run by departed DMV workers. We know they can be a little less friendly than our servers, but since you are afraid of what they can do you always listen to them. I can see them now coming after me to take away my cookies. Me pleading with them to not take them away, to no avail.