3 quick shorts
When a kid on the autistic spectrum needs something even if it is trivial, it is best to just get it. Don’t argue, don’t ask silly questions, don’t try to be rational. Just get whatever this kid wants, and your life will be much happier.
About a year ago my daughter had to have a tortoise, one of our many creatures. Well, the other night, during the rain storm my wife and I were woken up at 2 in the morning by a loud drumming sound. I had no idea what it was and we did whatever we could to go back to sleep. The next afternoon I look out the window to find a 4-foot wide blue drum on the ground under the leaking gutter. It seems the tortoise requires a small kids wading pool to exercise, and this blue wading pool was turned upside down on the side of the house.
So my other darling daughter wanted to catch a squirrel, so she put a pound of my favorite nuts (pecans) in this trap out front. So the tortoise daughter comes home and there is this squirrel trapped in the trap. She approaches the trap to see what was going on when the squirrel jumps on the side of the trap facing her and tries to attack her. The squirrel then starts shaking the whole cage growling at my daughter as loud as the poor thing could. This, of course, horrifies the tortoise daughter, but she manages to find a long pole to let the little rodent out.
May 13 - 19
Ok folks, I got nothing tonight so for the first time I am going to give you a rerun of something I wrote a long time ago...
We have a difficult time getting our kids dressed in the morning because they are always on their iPhones. So we made a new rule, devices are turned in at night and the kids don’t get them back until they are dressed and ready to go in the morning. That night my son walks in at midnight and asks, "I am all dressed dad, can I have my iPhone now”?
May 6 - 12
I have never been that wise at picking a restaurant location. In my years, I have opened many restaurants and closed many. You would think by now I would know I am not that good at anticipating future business. So it should come as no surprise that when I gave my wife a LARGE bird feeder that no birds would show up. I mean do these birds know it is me, do they know my reputation?. All I can say is it is pretty bad when I am offering free food, and I can’t get a single customer. Do you think maybe I should offer an “eat one get one” coupon?
Apr 29 - May 5
Last week I wrote about how I have nothing to write about because my kids weren’t getting into trouble anymore. It appears that I am making up for them.
My wife and I were invited to a party and the other morning one of our good friends texted me to tell me it was a surprise party. I am thinking to myself why would it be a surprise party? My wife always knows everything, so I called her to ask her. Who would the surprise be for? She just laughed and said I guess I will have to look surprised now.
It’s her birthday weekend.