I want to thank Saint Philomene's for inviting me back to make the gravy for their big dinner. You know I have been kicked out of there twice.
Once, back in 1967, my hair was too long and the principal literally threw me out of school.
Then, a few years back, I was helping with the gravy for Thanksgiving, and I was dismissed again.
Now I heard through a rumor that it was because I was flirting with a nun. Now that was not true; we were just having a conversation. I don't remember what about.