So, folks, we are nearing or maybe even have passed the midpoint of our pandemic situation. What we can do now is dream about the possible future. What that future is, is a complete mystery. The one thing I want more than anything else is for my darling children to go back to school. We all love our kids, but we love them more when they are not around. First off the kids think now that they don’t have to go to school, that they have somehow graduated, and are therefore too smart to be told what to do. My son constantly lectures me on every subject. I try to drink my wine to help with the situation and then he lectures me on how bad it is to drink alcohol. At dinner, I am told I make too much noise when I eat. Today I brought the kids for lunch at Flapjacks, and my daughter started giving me clues on how to run my business better. This is where I get mad at Ronald Reagan, if he hadn’t gotten rid of those psych hospitals I could have convinced someone there to check me in.
Aug 24 - 30
I have absolutely nothing to write about.
I don’t want to talk politics because it is too divided. I don’t want to talk COVID because it is so endless. I don’t want to talk about rabbits because it shows how few brain cells I actually have left which further enforces the fact that I obviously shouldn’t talk politics or COVID. So I will tell you a cute story.
My daughter loves praying mantises. So the other day I am at Raley's and I pick up a few ears of corn and throw them in the trunk. I get home and open the trunk and there is this large praying mantis sitting there staring at me. I call my daughter out to the car to introduce her to her new best friend. She puts the mantis on a rose bush at night and the next day it is still there.
Why couldn’t this have happened before we got the rabbits?
Aug 17 - 23
When it comes to intelligence, it seems my wife and I are at the bottom of the curve. For years we felt that having animals and especially rabbits were a good experience for the kids. Learning the responsibility of raising anything would be a good learning experience, right? Soon after we built this monstrosity of a bunny hutch, the kids lost complete interest. After many years, I gave up and let the bunnies out to fend for themselves, and threw out the hutch.
Now with the kids home so much we thought some animals would be good for them, and of course, since I threw the old bunny hutch away, I built an even bigger one. Two weeks later the kids have to be constantly reminded to go out and check on their bunnies.
My wife and I are seriously thinking that if we just got a taxidermist, our problems might be solved once and for all.
Aug 10 - 16
I promised a friend of mine that I would stop writing about the kids, but that is so hard. This is my therapy, and with COVID, I have no other options. My boy cannot stop talking, and I mean he cannot stop talking. You can plead with him to no avail. We were at Kaiser today to get a blood test, and I kept asking him to stay quiet so we could hear our number being called, and again he doesn’t stop. He is also an expert on everything and will tell you about everything. Tonight I told him he was opinionated. He took that as a compliment. I have customers who complain to me their hearing aids don’t work, if they lived in my house they would realize how lucky they are.