Mar 2 - 8

I was going to use the Coronavirus excuse to get out of going to a kids birthday party, but my wife said that was unethical. Darn, I never should have married an ethical woman.

When you raise special needs kids you go through childhood endlessly. So, our kids got some “ant farm” presents again. This whole scenario sounded familiar, so I looked through the archives and this is a story I wrote about “ant farm” presents 6 years ago. So this is a redo.

“I am not sure who bought them, but one of the presents my children each got for Christmas was an ant farm. We of course had to order the ants and they just came yesterday. These are those large fire red intimidating ants that look like they could eat you if they got a chance. After dinner my wife yells to me to hurry upstairs. I get there to see these red ants quickly scurrying in all directions on the carpet. My wife is screaming for me to catch them, my daughter is screaming to not harm them and me just trying to head them off before they get to my side of the bed. It turns out they are easy to catch because they attack any living thing and so if you put your finger down they immediately latch on. The trick was trying to get them off.” 

Feb 24 - Mar 1

Today we celebrated my brother’s birthday. Oddly enough, everyone thought he was 70 years old. Well… I am 4 years younger, which laughingly would put me at 66. So obviously they must be wrong. Maybe he turned 55, or possibly 59, but definitely not older. Ok, ok, so he reached his sixties, but he couldn’t possibly be in his late sixties. If by chance, he really was 70, maybe I was born much longer than 4 years after him, like 14 years after him.  Yes, that makes the most sense. I was born 14 years after my old brother, which puts me at 56. I can live with 56. Please, don’t tell him about this blog, it might hurt his feelings.

Feb 10 - 16

There is a time in your life when you realize that there are just no brain cells left upstairs anymore. 

Since the children started walking I would hide things on the high shelf. Well, I haven’t been to rehab yet, but I have been fighting an abnormally strong craving for chocolate. Consequently, I hide my satisfying little chocolate bars in a box on the top shelf in the pantry. I have always wondered why they turn up missing.  I mean, who is going to bother to look that high? Dumb me. So while I am in there wondering what happened, my 6ft 6inch son walks in and literally looks down at my box.

Ok. You do not talk religion or politics when operating a business.  So one of my customers brought up what is going on in Washington, before he had a chance to get far in the conversation, the person with him starts to get upset. I mean he got really upset. After about a minute of listening to him before he calmed down, I realized I had no idea what side he was on. Interesting that both sides are so upset with the other side, you literally can not have an open conversation about it anymore.