I couldn't come up with anything, actually my wife said no I can't send it, so I have pulled a blog from 2013. Hope you like.
Here is my feeble attempt at my annual Christmas Song
Hark! I hear the Servers singing
Glory to the Holiday tidings
Chefs preparing the new whipped cream
Placed on cakes and with lots of feeling
Hostesses dancing in the aisles
Bringing lots of friendly smiles
Celebrating Christmas cheer
Bringing in the good New Year
Hark the bussers sing some more
Greeting patrons at the door
Hark! Chris Harold sings a Christmas song
Asking all to sing along.
Children bouncing to the rhythm
Parents trying to keep from humming
Coffee pouring right from the pot
Coming out piping hot
Now is the time to dance and cheer
Christmas only comes this time of year.
Hark for family and special friends
Hopefully this season will never end.
Dec 9 - 15
In watching the impeachment hearings you notice how everyone has their mind up already, but with that they also have a tone to their voice. They either have a very sarcastic arrogant voice or they have a very soft monotone voice. I am curious as to which is more effective. So, I was thinking of training my servers to try and sell customers on different flapjacks and waffles, using the different tones much like the politicians.
Now the only way to explain it to you in the form of a letter is to have you imagine a sarcastic Matthew McConaughey trying to convince you that buying 4 extra Strawberry Waffles would be good for your health. On the other hand you would have Meryl Streep never cracking a smile trying to sell you 4 extra Pineapple and Coconut Flapjacks, explaining ever so efficiently how this will make you very healthy. When I mentioned this to my servers they locked me up in that back closet again.
A customer of ours wanted me to print his joke. His call name is Sugar Willie
What happens when you add a 10 cubic miles of dirt to “Lodi”.
Silly, you get “Highdi”
Dec 2 - 8
I didn’t know that birds had the brain capacity to taunt another animal, but my dogs nemeses, the crane next door apparently does. I am out back and the crane is on the other side of the fence just sitting there while my dogs are barking up a storm. The crane decides to take flight and go up the hill. The dogs go up our yard in hopes of staying up with their enemy, however as soon as the dogs commit to one direction the crane make a 180 degree turn and comes and lands on our side of the fence right where the dogs were right in front of me. The dogs don’t see this because they ran up the hill, when they come back here is the crane standing right there. They go berserk and go after it, and it casually flies over to the other side of our pond. The dogs go nuts and go after it again. Now the crane flies right back to this side of the pond, right in front of me again. The dogs are besides themselves now and come running back again. The crane plays the ultimate game of chicken and just stands there very calm until the dogs are right on it and just in the nick of time it takes off and goes back on the other side of the fence where this all started. The crane just stood there and I swear he held up his middle feather again.
Hope everyone had a nice Thanksgiving.
Nov 25 - Dec 1
Politics is something that should never come up at the Thanksgiving Day dinner, however, in our polarized world, it may be inevitable. Here are some subjects that drive family members apart. With my input.
Do you stuff the turkey with stuffing or do you cook the stuffing separately?
My response, it is called stuffing for a reason.
Do you bake, fry, bag or use natural sunlight to cook your turkey.
My response, just buy a pre-cooked ham or turkey and tell everyone you slaved over the oven.
White or red wine with turkey or ham?
My response, whichever contains the most alcohol, so you can enjoy the company of your children.
I hope this helps you to have a nice Thanksgiving.