Aug 12 - 18

Last night we had a friend come over who proceeded to give my son clarinet lessons. I thought this could be a good thing. As annoyingly shrill as the clarinet is it is a far cry from the beating of the DRUMS. Ok, so now he can play a few notes, and ok, now he starts to make a little music, however, the notes all seem to end in that shrill sound. When you also take into account he is trying (and I said trying) to play “Three Blind Mice” over and over again, I realized the DRUMS really weren’t that bad after all.

Aug 5 - 11

At the first impression, my wife and I may come across as being intellectually proficient. In time you would find that is definitely not the case. It appears we have broken down and gotten our kids parakeets. Now the only thing we know about parakeets is the 3-minute video we watched on Youtube. Apparently, we are supposed to clip their wings (I don’t understand why). So of course when we take them out of the cage to do so, they get away, and of course, this room they are flying in has a 16-foot ceiling. So, I simply tell my wife let’s just call this room the aviary and leave them up there.

On a side note, did you know that if our planet with all its mountains, oceans and people was sucked into a black hole our world would be reduced to such a small size it would fit into one of our large to-go cups. So why can’t I get the leaves from one Magnolia tree fit into one 90 gallon garbage can?

Jul 29 - Aug 4

Did you ever read the story “If You Give a Mouse a Cookie”? The story goes if you give a mouse a cookie, they will ask for milk, and so on and so on. Well, I suddenly realized that when I finish texturing this hole in the kitchen ceiling from the leaky pipe, I will need to repaint the entire kitchen ceiling. If I paint the kitchen ceiling, I will have to repaint all the molding. Well if I repaint all the molding I will need to repaint all the walls. If I repaint all the walls, the cabinets will look old and my wife will suggest new cabinets. If we are replacing the cabinets, we might as well replace the countertops, and if you replace the countertops you obviously need new a new sink and appliances. Well, of course, the old floor won’t do, so we will have to replace the flooring. If you redo the kitchen then the adjoining room may need painting and so and so on.

Next time I have a leaky pipe, I will just leave a flower pot there on the table like I originally suggested and leave the hole in the ceiling alone.

Jul 22 - 28

My wife is gone all week at a conference and my kids are gone all week to camp, so my wife gave me just one job to do while she is gone. Fix the hole in the kitchen ceiling that I wrote about a few weeks ago. No problem I said, not thinking that I have no idea how to tape and texture sheetrock. So as I was fixing the hole in my daughter’s bedroom I thought what if you covered the hole with a poster. Nobody would realize what a terrible job I did. I found one lying around the back of a closet. Now, what to do with the much larger hole in the kitchen? I found they don’t make many 4-foot by 6-foot posters, let alone something I could get away with. Shucks.

Sometimes it is just easier to accept your fate and just sleep with the dogs.