May 13 - 19

Ok folks, I got nothing tonight so for the first time I am going to give you a rerun of something I wrote a long time ago...
We have a difficult time getting our kids dressed in the morning because they are always on their iPhones. So we made a new rule, devices are turned in at night and the kids don’t get them back until they are dressed and ready to go in the morning. That night my son walks in at midnight and asks, "I am all dressed dad, can I have my iPhone now”?

May 6 - 12

I have never been that wise at picking a restaurant location. In my years, I have opened many restaurants and closed many. You would think by now I would know I am not that good at anticipating future business.  So it should come as no surprise that when I gave my wife a LARGE bird feeder that no birds would show up. I mean do these birds know it is me, do they know my reputation?. All I can say is it is pretty bad when I am offering free food, and I can’t get a single customer.  Do you think maybe I should offer an “eat one get one” coupon?

Apr 29 - May 5

Last week I wrote about how I have nothing to write about because my kids weren’t getting into trouble anymore. It appears that I am making up for them. 

My wife and I were invited to a party and the other morning one of our good friends texted me to tell me it was a surprise party. I am thinking to myself why would it be a surprise party? My wife always knows everything, so I called her to ask her. Who would the surprise be for? She just laughed and said I guess I will have to look surprised now.

It’s her birthday weekend.

Apr 22 - 28

As the kids get older they tend to get into less mischief and do less crazy things. Consequently, I have fewer stories to write about. Is that a good thing? I mean most of the time it is good, but on Saturday night when I sit down to write something, I need material, and in the past they provided it to me. Now, I have to think on my own. So, instead, I have decided to have a column where I give advice. I really don’t know much of anything so I should be good at giving advice.  

For instance someone might ask me for parenting advice, and I would have absolutely no advice. Someone else might ask advice about relationships and again I would have absolutely nothing. 

I really need those kids to get into trouble again, don’t I?